Funny Merry Christmas Quotes Messages and Sayings
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| Funny Merry Christmas Quotes Messages and Sayings |
Can I get a Picture of You so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Bart Simpson (Matt Groaning)
Merry Christmas Wishes Quotes and Messages:
You know you’ve grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store.
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
If you’re not under my tree on Christmas morning, I’m going back to bed!
“Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection.” — Winston Churchill
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Funny Christmas quotes for cards
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| Merry Christmas Quotes Messages and Sayings |
CHRISTMAS is C-hrist’s H-istoric, R-emarkable I-ncarnation S-tory, T-elling M-essiah’s A-waited S-alvation.
Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
“One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”
“Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.” – Janice Maeditere
Top 100+ Merry Christmas Quotes Messages Sayings
“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
“Christmas is not a time nor a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” — Calvin Coolidge
Funny Christmas movie quotes
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| Funny Christmas messages |
‘I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.’ Bernard Manning
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~ Kin Hubbard
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” – Johnny Carson
“Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more….”
“Don’t let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.” -Taylor Caldwell
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. – Andy Borowitz
“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” ― Charles Dickens
“At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” – Robert Godden
Funny merry Christmas quotes
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| Funny merry Christmas quotes |
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
“Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.” — Washington Irving
“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.”
“Love the giver more than the gift.” – Brigham Young
Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home. ~ Carol Nelson
‘I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.’
“Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.” — Charles M. Schulz
Funny Christmas sayings
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| Funny Christmas sayings |
“This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.” – Taylor Caldwell
My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. – Melanie White
Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas.
They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.” ~ Lenore Hershey
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.” — Mary Ellen Chase
When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time.
Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? ~ G.K. Chesterton
“To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.” – Philip Andrew Adams
Christmas funny quotes
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. T hey couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. – Dave Barry
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. ~ Anon
“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases. – Bridger Winegar
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another.
The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other. ~ Emily Matthews
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas. – Melanie White
I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. – Winston Spear
Christmas Quotes funny
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.- Melanie White
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.- Guy Endore Kaiser
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin
I’ve never really understood why Jews go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but I think it’s because so many Chinese restaurants have the word “temple” in their names. – Dan Zevin
Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.- Melanie White
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” — Johnny Carson
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The amount of time and energy we spend putting up and taking down holiday decorations tells me our ‘top of the food chain’ claim is invalid. – Linda in Disguise @LindaInDisguise
“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.” – Mary Ellen Chase
“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” — Jay Leno
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for twenty minutes. – Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
“For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway!” – Anne Bristow
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. – Larry Wilde
“That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.” — Jerry Seinfeld
Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. – Kin Hubbard
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” — Shirley Temple
It’s the holiday season. Let the overeating begin! – Melanie White
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